Sometimes

I do this:
andycharmington.tumblr.com

That's all for now.

Note to Self

Evacuate bowels often in case of unexpected death.

Random

I remember when the King Soopers at Uintah Gardens had a bakery where the pharmacy is & the pharmacy was where the dairy section is.

The Joy is in the Journey

It's funny, the things you inadvertently learn about yourself over time. For example, I've ended up liking R.E.M. a lot more than I ever thought I would, when the radio used to play "Losing My Religion" all the time.

In a sequence of events I never saw coming, I let my own devotion to someone dampen out my fire, my lust for life, my high- and, I think, right-minded ideals about I relate to the world around me, only to have it recently and suddenly rekindled. I had withdrawn into myself. I'd stopped drawing, stopped making music except for singing karaoke, and had become afraid to feel anything, or to speak or act what's in my heart. All I had left were my ridiculous sense of humour and logic. And it all happened so gradually that I didn't notice. Then someone amazing came into my life. A magnet. A person who shoved my world-weariness aside and asked my joie de vivre to dance. I found myself ready and able to remember and act as me, truly. Genuinely. I found myself able to speak, unguarded, un-self-consciously. I'm drawing again; pictures I can stare at, at length, in wonder, because it's as if I never stopped. I am no longer complacent, although it still takes extensive measures to make me angry. Once I find an instrument at a price I'm willing to pay, I'll start writing music again, and I feel energetic again. I feel like I can actually do something with the skeleton of a novel I've been sitting on for 4 years. I feel amazing, and I don't know if it would've happened without this inspiring, provocative person. I hope she & I stay friends into old age. Oh, and I actually care about the music I listen to again! Over 5,000 songs in my iTunes library, and I now realize how unrealistic that is.

I've also found that I'm good at blending in. As I walk around Seville, people randomly speak to me as if I'm right where I belong. By the same token, I'm good at standing out, when I want to. I credit these both to a confidence I never realized I had, or maybe it's just new.

And one last thing, something I realized a long time ago and remain surprised by how true it stays. I find a peculiar joy in certain types of melancholy. I enjoy doing things alone. Not all the time, and only some things, but occasionally, my own company is the best I could ask for.

I think I'm kind of awesome, which I think is pretty, well, awesome!

Random opinion question: Would I be taking my Doctor Who fascination too far by getting a tattoo of a heart (the organ, not the shape) on the right side of my chest?

Rant-o Charmington!

I've been in Spain now for nearly 2 weeks. The vast majority of my time here has been spent on base, and still I find my head to be chock-full of thoughts. And where better than my own private blog to exert them? So without further ado...

Being surrounded by Americans in Europe is like watching TV. They seem so stereotypical you'd swear it was scripted.

But then, I'm self-aware enough to know that I'm kind of strange, no matter what situation I find myself in.

Tonight I took the bus into town, with a camera & some cash. I had two hours before the next bus back to base, and while I was there, I had a sum total of 3 beers, which are tiny here. At a bar, they serve you about 8 oz. as Un Cerveza. For the remaining 90 minutes, I just wandered around alone!

It was nice. I found it calming to be alone in a crowd. Three people spoke to me during my walks. I had no idea what 2 of them were saying, and the other wanted fuego for his cigarette. I handed him my Zippo, and he didn't know what to do with it, so I lit it for him and said, "De nada."

There were tons of people out. I'd been told that's how it is, but I was still surprised by it. Elderly people were out walking around at 9 & 10 at night! Most bars were closed, but I may have been out too early, and that wasn't the point anyway. All the shops were closed, too, almost without exception. People seemed like they had places to go, though. One of the shops I walked by was art supplies, and the window display had some of the usual posed wooden figures, and I almost missed what was behind them. My double-take caught a life-size poseable human skeleton! Friggin' sweet!

I've got to stop saying "s'il vous plait" instead of "por favor."

This isn't at all what I was going to rant about, but there you have it.

Pre-Spain Checklist

Sometime in October, presumably (but I'm hoping for November 2nd so I don't miss Halloween in Colorado Springs), I will be temporarily assigned to a base in southern Spain. Six months of my life will be spent in Europe, which is pretty awesome. Anyway, this is my list of things I'd like to do before I leave. I will edit it as necessary.

+ Adventurous day-trip.

+ Paint a painting.

+ Visit Cheyenne Mountain Zoo

+ See You Later party (Halloween In September, depending on circumstances)

+ See a good show in Denver

+ Play a set at open mic

+ Build a print at Kimball's

+ Transfer my lease to a larger unit on a higher floor

+ Complete the outline for my antichrist novella

+ Start a creativity collective, a la the Inklings

+ Learn more Cymraeg (and brush up on my Espanol, while I'm at it)

+ Get up early every Saturday!

And more, as they occur to me...

Being Human

This post hasn't got a thing to do with any television show.

I am having a life-changing week. No shit, I couldn't've dreamed this up.

I met someone a few weeks ago who stuck out in a darkened room like a lighthouse on a stormy sea. It took a week or more for me to realize that the effect would've been the same in a room packed full of lighthouses.

Conversations followed, and puzzling familiarity emerged. Parts of me I didn't realize had been buried alive were gasping for air, exhumed by her unseen force.

I remember this from so long ago: Being alive is exciting! This world is tremendous, both in its bigness and its smallness. The adventures presented to everyone every day should not be taken for granted.

Logic has been my ruling party for years now, and suddenly Feeling has been culled back to life. I feel so much closer to whole than the sum of my past.