My Geministic Ways

Miike Snow - Song for No One by tbtblog

Just before 5a.m. today, I went outside for my last cigarette break of the shift. The second I was out the door, I was flooded by summer. There was light in the sky, but it didn't seem to be coming from any certain direction. I could smell dew in the air, and hear birds going bonkers from every direction. It was unexpected, and it made me feel like a conduit of life. Like I had picked the most absolutely perfect time to spend ten minutes outside.

Anyway, I've been thinking, or more aptly, noticing, a lot lately, just how many dichotomies I embody, and how many more I enjoy. Like the way I'm a willful Luddite about certain things, while simultaneously craving progress in other areas. Or the way I'm very picky about music and movies, but I just can't take myself seriously much of the time.

I've spent so much time on introspection over the past 9 months. Not knowing if I'm bettering myself or just getting stubbornly self-assured as I age. Doubtless, the depth of the introspection has led to very subjective views on things, and I'm sure someone ten years older would read this and think I'm a pompous ass. Fuck it, I say. I'm writing for me.

But for the foreseeable future, I will be working on ways to gain objectivity.